Friday, March 11, 2011

Gnarly Gnasher's No More!

That picture could have been a mirror image. OK, maybe not that close but I really hated going to the dentist because of the constant need to go to the washroom NOW.

I have bars cemented onto the back of my teeth to keep them straight. Braces and Invisalign moved my teeth into perfect position but my teeth needed some help keeping their location. Because of these bars, flossing is next to impossible. Not totally impossible but I am just lazy enough to think brushing twice a day and flossing twice a week is sufficient. It’s not.

I bit back my fears and made an appointment to see Dr. Lee. He is a sweet older man who talks incessantly while your mouth is open wide enough to admit a woolly mammoth and blue whale side by side. Since I hadn’t seen a mouth doctor in approx. 2 years my laziness was quite apparent to Dr. Lee. My pearly whites were perfect, until you adjusted that little round mirror and took a peek behind the exterior. Sad neglect, or rather, my not flossing at least every other day, left tartar that needed scaling. Ugh. As Dr. Lee was putting all the instruments of torture on the little side tray, I experienced the familiar I HAVE TO GO NOW sensation.

Yes everyone, just because I no longer poop out of the same hole as most of you, I still have “phantom pooping pains” Like a person who no longer has a foot or hand might have an itch on their missing limb, I have the occasional urge to poop out of my Barbie bum. About a month after surgery, I turned out of my driveway and got about 10 feet down the street when the urge hit and I actually turned around and went home. The familiar pooping pangs sent me scurrying for the closest washroom. The fact that I had Oscar hadn’t quiet overshadowed 13 years of emergency washroom finding. It is always a weird and unsettling feeling but it passes quickly and I am able to shake it off without an issue.

As I settled into the uncomfortable dental chair I realized I wouldn’t have to stop Dr. Lee ¾ through his ministrations. I also realized I no longer had an excuse to ignore my yearly check-up.

Thank you Oscar for allowing me to keep my teeth healthy and to be able to listen to one of Dr. Lee’s stories the whole way through.

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