Saturday, March 6, 2010

Tim Horten's and pooping at a light

On Thursday night we had an Air Riders VW club meeting. On our way, sitting at a traffic light, I get the "I need to poop" signal. We all know the signs, the slight tingle in the lower back with the sudden feeling of fullness. For the last 13 years whenever I have got the "have to poop signal" I have to get myself to a washroom NOW. My journey with Crohn's has been one filled with panties left all over the province, memories or possible mementos of my far superior lack of rectal control. So there we are, sitting in the car and I get the sign, and instantly my palms start sweating and my brain goes into what I like to call "washroom seek mode" This is were ALL except finding a washroom is forgotten. This is always perilous when driving, as I have suddenly accelerated to 100km's an hour in a 50km zone, have had no thought what so ever for pedestrians and have sent more than one parking lot patron scurrying for cover. My favourite? I bypassed a HUGE line-up of women in a service station and did the run/walk directly into the men's room where I startled more than a few who were standing in front of the urinals. As my hands start watering I realize...'wait a tic!' I don't need a washroom...I have the portable poo bag!! I proudly sit a little straighter in the seat and marvel, for the first time in many years, I may actually make it home with my panties on.

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