Monday, November 14, 2011

Oscar, Allie, Alligators....Oh my!....Part 2

The swamp loomed in front of us, large and imposing as our Cajun guide Arthur sped the airboat along. He showed us areas where the tree branches touched and the Spanish moss grew like some sort of beautiful ghostly weed. Other areas were a vast wetland full of birds of every kind imaginable, while other areas looked like a devastation had happened and the remaining trees were like jutting teeth ready to impale an unsuspecting airboat (the picture above is of my hubby, me in the middle and our friend Ben in the airboat). The swamp is breathtaking. I spent the first hour on the edge of my seat, drinking in all the little tidbits of information Arthur was telling us about this magnificent area. The swamp I didn't realize, is like a bunch of little Eco-systems. Some lush and teeming with wild life, others a cold, seemingly dead space. I was entranced and didn't realize that we had yet to see an alligator.
My male companions did. My hubby was squirming in his seat, his eyes glued to the swampy/marshy edges for the tell tale little beady eyes and round nostrils. Arthur was also beginning to realize that we had yet to see the tasty critters and took it as a personal affront that we hadn't seen one. Arthur decided to take matters into his own hands and sped us off through the bayou to a spot usually not visited by tours. We were quickly rewarded with a spotting, and I was quickly rewarded with half a pouch full from Oscar.
Through out the entire ride I had not thought once about a washroom or wondered what would happen if I was in the middle of the swamp and the urge struck. The telltale warmth, the pants getting slightly tighter, reminded me that having an Ostomy is the best thing in the entire world. Although we have been to New Orleans quite a few times in my non-ostomy past, I resolutely refused to visit the swamp. With my fertile imagination, I visualized me, ass hanging out of the boat, dealing with a Crohns emergency, and while that in itself would be embarrassing, I was almost catatonic with fear that some huge alligator would get it in his head that a nice piece of white Canadian ass would be just the treat he needed. No thank you.
Thank you Oscar for allowing me to be higher in the swamp food chain (at least in an airboat) and for not letting me become the other, other, white meat.

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