Friday, October 5, 2012

How to Type Around a Pug and Other Useless Information



As you can see, my pug Gunner needs to be by my side all the time. It has always been cute, but ever since Oscar and I got together Gunner seems to think one of two things.
1.       My permanent buddy will overtake my affections and Gunner will be left out.
2.       Oscar needs to be kept warm, ALL THE TIME and Gunner has appointed himself Oscar’s furry blanket.
Either way, I have learned quite a few new and interesting ways of doing the most mundane things thanks to my ever present Pug and his need to chaperone Oscar.
When I first came home from the hospital I was paranoid about even touching Oscar. Gunner thought differently. Within 2 minutes of me sitting on the couch, the dog jumped up and immediately started sniffing Oscar. I, being new to the Ostomy gang, freaked out and promptly placed a pillow between Oscar and Gunner. Gunner thought this was a splendid idea, Oscar was being kept warm and he had a new place to perch. Yup, Gunner took no time at all in climbing the pillow and settling himself for the evening.
A few days went by and the dishes started piling up. I didn't want to bend over and load the dishwasher, a fresh abdomen incision wouldn't like that, but I thought it would be a good idea to stand for a few minutes, so I filled the sink with soapy water. Gunner on the other hand was having none of it. His new charge would not be subjected to a potentially dangerous encounter with the side of the sink. He arranged himself between me and the sink and I was forced to lean over in a very awkward position to try to avoid the vicious Pug glare I was receiving.  Well played sir, well played.
The next few weeks passed without incident except for the ever present Pug. He had the uncanny ability to be everywhere I was but did not arise suspicion as he kept a safe distance. If I had to change a pouch, Gunner would sit discreetly on the inside of the bathroom door. An afternoon of reading or doing homework would find him patiently watching me from the opposite couch. Preparing the night’s dinner would involve me having to step around him as he would sit in the very center of the kitchen, beady Pug eyes following my every move.  I figured Gunner’s obsession with Oscar was finally over when he began acting like his normal aloof self. How very wrong I was.
I came home one afternoon and realized I needed to vacuum, not only for our family’s health’s sake but for the health of everyone living in a 2 kilometer radius.  The house had become truly scary. I slowly walked downstairs and found the vacuum buried behind some Christmas decorations…it had been a long time indeed. I decided I would start on the main floor and proceeded upstairs. It was about that time that I noticed I had a Pug shadow. I plugged in the machine and imagine my surprise when a furry, snorting Pug decided to LAY himself on top of the vacuum head. Normally, Gunner puts up with the vacuum but stay’s a safe five feet away at all times.
Gunner had laid down the Pug law and I was more inclined to follow it then my doctor’s instructions on NOT vacuuming for a least 6-8 weeks.  Needless to say, Gunner won that battle and I hired a cleaning service the next day. Almost 3 years later I still have the cleaning service because the doctor may have been wrong and I shouldn't vacuum period.
Thank you Oscar, because of you I have a Pug who looks after my best interests. 

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