Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Brazillian waxing...don't try this at home!

Oscar and I have recently been having some separation issues. Mainly, I've been trying to separate the skin barrier from around Oscar and the skin barrier has been leaving us sticky residue all over. In our naked showers (on change day, I peel the barrier/pouch off and hop into the shower with just Oscar) I have to use my nail and pry little balls of residue off my skin and these balls inadvertently fall into the nono hair of down there. So, to make a long story short, one I'm pretty sure no one wants to hear, I decided to do a Brazilian wax job on myself.
I prepared myself all day, reading about what to do, how to do it and what kind of home kit was the best to use. I went out and hunted down the wax kit, brought it home and let a day go by with the kit and some bikini lotion sitting on my night stand. The hubby heard my plans and thought it was the best idea in the world and offered constant support. Men.
This morning I decided, Oscar and I had a date with Parissa. I stripped down, heated up the wax in the little container in the microwave, got all the strips ready, layed a towel down, put the Pugs in their cage (I just couldn't see trying to get wax off Pug's being a good idea) gathered up the hand mirror, tweezers and tiny scissors, got into position.....and then the phone rang. It was my sister and when she found out I was just about to place some molten lava onto my vajayjay she lost it. I haven't heard her laugh that hard in years! I confessed I was a little nervous and tried a tester patch on my leg. OW!!! Yup, off to the professionals it is.
I have never had a Brazilian mainly because my bum was worse then...there isn't even a way to describe the awfulness. I didn't even want to see it, let alone some poor esthetician. I've always shaved the area but secretly thought waxing would be more convenient.
So anyway, I phone Matter of Bodyworks, the place the hubby has his back waxed at and make an appointment for today. They were able to take me at 2pm, so off I went. When I arrived, the woman gave me a small towel and told me what to do. I was freaking out a little, OK alot, but I'm not modest at ALL about revealing my nether parts because of all the stuff that has happened. I have had more people look at my bum/nether parts then Jenna Jaimeson has had people looking at her. OK, maybe not THAT many, but alot. Either way....I'm fine with showing off my badly scarred/sewn lower half. It's a mark of honour that my body has sustained so much and I'm still kicking. I'm actually really proud of myself and my attitude of the last few years. State the facts and deal with them. You have one life, live it the best way you can.
I'm off topic and preaching....back to hot wax. *Shudder*
I pop onto the bench and when the woman comes in, I say "don't freak, but I have a colostomy and my bum has been sewn shut" She looks at me, asks "you have a bag?" "yup, I do" and that was that. She didn't even bat an eye! Yet again, we as ostomates think it's a HUGE deal when in reality, no one really cares. She was done in about 1/2 hour, lots of leg positions and I thought to myself "am I friggin nuts?? I was going to do this to myself????" She made me lay on my side for the rear part of the procedure and said, "nope, never seen this before" and again, that was that. All in all, 45 minutes of some pain, nothing excruciating and Oscar made it possible. Who knew that being an ostomate would mean I can now get a Brazilian wax? Thanks Oscar! I think? LOL.

1 comment:

  1. Ouch and ouch some more. I have to say again, you are the bravest person I have ever known! Thanks for sharing with us cowards.